5 MISCONCEPTIONS OF HAVING A BABY

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5 MISCONCEPTIONS OF HAVING A BABY

Having a baby is without a doubt a very exciting time! It also brings with it lots of misconceptions, 5 of which I’m sharing with you here!

When my daughter was around three, I remember very distinctly overhearing a pregnant woman talk about how when she has her baby it was going to be different.

She said that her baby was going to fit into her schedule, she was going to show how easy it was to maintain her career and how easy it was going to be to get her pre-baby body back.

I laughed. And then I thought to myself, did I sound like that?? Because let me tell you, it doesn’t quite happen like that (for most anyway). Let me share with you some misconceptions I totally debunked after having my daughter.

1. YOUR PRE-BABY BODY WILL COME BACK QUICKLY.  

Now, let me be perfectly clear. For SOME women, this is true. But, for MOST women, this is not true. It sounds wonderful in theory, but no.

Let’s put into context what happens after you have a baby. First, you have to pop that adorable little person out of you (which doesn’t feel so little when you’re screaming and pushing). That takes time to heal, let’s not forget.

If only your body retracted like memory foam, we would all be happy!

Now you have a baby. Who’s taking care of that baby? And who’s feeding the baby every three hours? Who’s changing diapers, and walking up and down the hallway? Of course there is shared duties. Unfortunately for women, men don’t breastfeed, so every three hours we are feeding or pumping.

Sleep deprivation does not lend itself to healing and the ability to exercise. And when you have a newborn, the first thing you worry about is not when you’re going to exercise, it’s when you’re feeding and when you’re sleeping.

In fact, even if you’re pumping to let your spouse help feed, which is also an option, you still have to get up to pump so they have something to feed with.

There was, luckily, a light at the end of the tunnel for me. And it may help you realize that even though you’re not bouncing back like you thought or hoped, there are ways to get some exercise in while you’re adjusting to your new reality. Go check out Exercise on a Busy Schedule for some helpful tips!

2. BREASTFEEDING WILL BE EASY

As with everything, there are always exceptions. This is no different. For some women, this task will be easy and a walk in the park. For many, it will be difficult, confusing and filled with a lot of stress.

When we had Trudie, THANK GOD I had my Mom. She nursed five kids, yes five kids! And in all that experience, she was giving me tons and tons of pointers and advice and the know how to do it right. 

And, if you want to get a detailed rundown of how breastfeeding works, best practices and pitfalls to avoid, keep an eye out for our BREASTFEEDING 101 EBOOK coming soon!

There are lots of things that can affect your breastfeeding – foods you are eating, not eating enough food, not staying consistent. There’s lots involved and if your goal is to breastfeed, it’s important to know what can affect it and how you can help it.

3. LIFE WILL RESUME AS USUAL

With everything new, it brings change. It’s inevitable. I remember not putting much thought into this when I was pregnant. I did assume I was going back to work, I did know I was breastfeeding, and I did think this baby was going to “join the scheduled program” as they say.

Now for the reality – I tried going back to work, and it was a hot mess. It was stressful for all three of us. The main issue was feeding. Trudie did not want a bottle – she only wanted what she still lovingly calls “baba” – or as I call it, the boob.

She was so determined to nurse at every feeding, that she would go on hunger strikes on the days I was back in the office (which started at only 2 days a week) and she would cry for hours. Eventually she would pass out from exhaustion.

Who can live like that, am I right??

So, I quit my full time cushy salaried job. I became a full time nursing machine. The thing I constantly remind myself now is that everyone is different, and that includes babies!

They don’t all take five hour naps (Trudie never did), they don’t all get with the program and sleep in their cribs or take a bottle when you give it to them. 

The takeaway – you just gotta roll with the punches. And after having a baby, there’s lots of punches coming at you! It’s not seamless, it’s not without trial and error and it’s definitely not “life as usual.”

4. GOING BACK TO WORK WILL BE FINE

I know I do not speak for all women, but I have spoken to A LOT of women who had the same problem I did. It hurt my heart to leave my sweet baby and go back to an office. And I’m not talking I was sad, my chest literally hurt. 

I would cry in the bathroom thinking about her. And it’s not because I was worried she wasn’t safe. She was with her Daddy, he could handle it (he has three younger brothers, two of which he helped raise). It was the physical separation from someone who just spent 9 months connected to my body.

That is what you call serious separation anxiety. 

A cousin once told me, she felt like she was going through a bad breakup. Every day she would leave her little boy and it made her cry horribly. Then she would come back home and his little face would just light up and so would she. It was VERY LOW and then VERY HIGH.

The thing to remember is everyone has a different situation, and everyone goes through all kinds of feelings and emotions and sometimes it’s hard to verbalize. Even worse, you’re a Mom and you want to be strong and be able to handle it! 

5. HAVING A BABY IS EXCITING AND ALL RAINBOWS AND CUPCAKES

It’s true, it’s exciting to have a baby. But not every mother feels the rainbows and the happy feelings that come with it. 

AND THAT’S OKAY!

When a woman goes through the process of having a baby, her hormones are all over the place, their bodies go through HUGE changes and there can be a lot of stress and anxiety associated with having to care for a newborn.

There is also a pressure, I believe, many women put on themselves which is, “I can handle it, I’m a Mom” and “I have to care for this person, I need to be strong.” 

It’s great to be strong, it’s great to be resilient. And sometimes, it’s okay to need help and it’s okay if you need to take a step back so you can catch your breath. Ever heard the saying “it takes a village”? It’s SO TRUE.

As much as you want to believe it will all be happiness and sweet moments in the sun nursing your baby, it’s not going to be. And in extreme cases, there are women who feel the harshest of Postpartum Depression, which really is not a walk in the park. 

So whether you’re going to have a baby (CONGRATULATIONS), already did have a baby, or are helping someone who had a baby, we hope our words can help you to ease your mind or give you a more realistic view of child bearing.

Have any comments or want to reach out?? We love hearing from our followers! Leave your comments below or send us an email at alycia@coffeecupcakesandkids.com.